closing the garden gate to things

I was asked almost a year ago once again to speak at a particular garden club. That was after COVID19 canceled the first time. I was given a date certain to speak, and oh they “would love” to see my garden in person as well. I was kind of excited to do this. I love talking gardening with people- it’s fun, and it is something I love. I like to share the joy.

I noticed on their calendar for 2022 it was a different date than originally discussed in June. I didn’t think anything of it, truthfully, since dates can change, right? Especially in the last couple of year as well.

Well now I know why the date changed etc. since I got a note (not a phone call and they had been provided my contact information):

“Hope you are well. As it turns out the club does not need a speaker for this June. Thanks for your consideration.

Best regards!”

Just like a rose society where I was a member at the time. Only with THEM I found out I wasn’t speaking when I reached out to ask them essentially what time they wanted me to arrive and other pre-speaking details since I was speaking on thus and such date. Only they replied something along the lines of “We forgot we asked you, you understand, right?”

As I said to this current garden group/club, it doesn’t make or break me if I don’t speak, it’s that I was asked a rather long time ago. Right or wrong that always smacks of they got a better offer. And honestly, it kind of stings.

I might not be a formally educated horticulturist, but I am a damn good gardener. And I do it on my own except for the largest of projects I can’t physically handle and tree work because for me climb a tree and saw anything would be a horror show.

It’s like these people want me to speak, but then I am not fancy enough or enough of a name to speak. So they always go with the better offer. Much like the people who at first want to consider my garden for a tour (which is a LOT of work for a home gardener), and then my garden is not good enough, but they hope I understand that as well. They don’t actually say my garden isn’t good enough, but then you see whom it is they choose and you just know. They wanted something a little more showy, with an enormous therefore more impressive house.

Actually I really don’t understand. I am good enough to speak to people and my garden is more than good enough to welcome guests. And these groups are all non-profits, so I am always willing to waive a fee to be helpful to their non-profit.

Sadly I don’t think I will entertain the invitations to speak any longer, or inquiries to have groups visit my gardens. For now, the garden gate is closed to those prospects.

Although I am disheartened, I will take this time to pause and remember that this is not why any of us garden. We garden for the beauty and joy of it. It is something we give ourselves as a gift. Each bud that opens, each newly green sprout, and the thrill of those discoveries every new gardening season.

That dear readers, is really why we do this. The joy. It isn’t about impressing people for tons of accolades and “atta girls.” I garden because I just love it, and I will share knowledge because someone shared knowledge with me, and it’s a pleasure to pay it forward in the garden.

Onward and upward.

Happy gardening!


  1. Good for you! Keep sending us beautiful pics of your garden, we love them! And I appreciate you sharing your knowledge. I also share plants and advice if asked. I enjoy my garden and also like seeing other’s gardens for inspiration! Thank you! 🙂


  2. Thank goodness that you have a much broader audience with your blog posts! I for one look forward to these glimpses into your world and the inspiration you provide every time you post!
    And yes, you always remember the value of the experience and help us to remember that as well.
    Keep up the good work! The people that really need your message will receive it and appreciate it!
    The world is so much bigger than garden clubs!


  3. Been in the same boat, what’s even worse is when they change the date, don’t tell you and then call to ask where you are. With two years of Covid cancellations under my belt, my calendar was one red line. Hope you can eventually laugh about this and chalk it up to human foibles. Susie


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